I am the Face...

"1 in 4 woman miscarry
1 in 10 woman struggle with infertility
I am the face of one or both..."

I have had so many woman contact me lately, I have been blessed to hear their stories.  A similar story also is infertility.  I have listened to many tell me of their struggle to have a baby.  Our journey started over two years ago, so I know of the longing and waiting and the wondering why it's not happening to you, and the wondering if you are broken.

It is something that can tear a marriage apart.  It's a very lonely road even though you are not going it alone. You don't want to talk with your partner about it, because is it you, is it me, who's fault is it? Why isn't it working?  I told you we needed to try on this day or that day, we must have missed calculated.  Then there comes the testing... The rounds and rounds of testing.

And if they find something wrong?  They thought I might have had uterine cancer.  For three months I wondered and worried, waiting for results and more tests.  It was at that point, after a year, before we were going to head to a fertility specialist that Jeff and I decided it wasn't for us.. Not then at least.  We had such a struggle for a year already and we wanted to just step back for a bit.  Go back to being us, enjoying us.  He told me as we left the doctors one day, "You are the one who always says if it's supposed to happen, then it will happen... So why would this be any different than anything else in our life?"

I know many woman personally and those who have reached out to me who have struggled even after seeing a specialist.  Woman who long to have a baby in their arms, to kiss their face, to feel their heart beat. Woman like me.. And maybe woman like you... Or one you know.

For now we need to heal, need to take a break.  If we decide later down the road to visit a specialist than we shall.  It is a very personal choice for many people.  I admire those who have taken that step.

I came across a website today, https://www.booster.com/lossawareness .  Organizer Kimberly Soule has also suffered a miscarriage and infertility.  She is selling tshirts to raise awareness of both.  All proceeds go to the March of Dimes.  On the tshirts is the quote I displayed at the begining of this blog... On the front there are tiny foot prints, and it says, "The loss of a dream... The struggle of infertility."

I am going to buy one of these shirts.  I do not know when or where or if I will wear it.  Maybe May 4th, our due date, maybe next October 15th.  Maybe around the house, maybe out for a walk, maybe to the mall.  I just don't know yet.  But I know I want people to become aware of this silent struggle.  

If you can visit her site, please do.  You too can help raise awareness for the faces of so many woman.