Our Happy Place

I won't lie.  This year has been tough.  And all we wanted to do was to get away, go on our vacation, and visit our happy place.

But along with what seems like everything this year, our past vacation just wasn't what we thought it would be.  It started off a bit bumpy.  And to be honest, I burst into tears multiple times on day one.  I looked at Jeff at one point in time and said, well you knew THIS would happen eventually!  I was so upset... I felt embarrassed.  I just wanted to go home.  I hated having to explain that it had been a tough year and we just wanted to get away.  I felt so stupid. I just wanted to go home.  And for me to say that of our favorite place??? You knew it was bad.

We got home that night, back to the hotel, found one of our luggage damaged.  Had to deal with that.  I was just done.  Absolutely done.  Nothing had gone how I wanted it to go, and I figured this was going to be how our vacation was.  I was so sad. I was so upset. I was so angry. 

I wanted to pray, but I was just not going to. Why? Because I just didn't know what to say.  I asked my husband to say a prayer. Finally he did.  And he started off by saying out loud, I'm saying this prayer because Tracy wants to pray but she just won't do it, and I don't know why.  In his prayer he also mentioned that he didn't understand why things were going the way they were, and questioned if we were even supposed to be there in the first place.  It was a strange feeling.  Everything was strange.  Not how it used to be.  I didn't like it.  I wanted life back the way it was before.

The next morning we woke up with new eyes, new thoughts, new hearts.  The rest of the trip was wonderful!  I did have my moments.  I would see a pregnant woman... or a baby... or even a child and then I would think that in only a few years we would have been there with our little kid.  I felt a little empty at times.

There was something I forgot at times and had to remind myself.  I get a whole week to hang out with my very best friend.  He makes me smile, he makes me laugh, so just give in.  And I did.  And it was amazing!

I can't say I didn't get sad at times, but I can say that I was sure to laugh and live, and just have a good time with my husband. 

I don't know where I'm going with this blog really.  Maybe just to say even though things don't turn our how we want them, they are how they are supposed to be!  I was reminded of my treasure I have here on earth and fell in love with him even more.  I am looking forward to brighter, happier days.  for now I will just think of the memories we made this past week!