God put me there

I don't even know where to begin this blog tonight.  Today I realized that God put me right where I needed to be.  Time after time He does that. From having my husband and I join the church together in July to having out church family there during this tough time in our life, to placing woman into my life who have walked the same path I have started down.

Today two beautiful ladies and I connected and bonded over the fact that all three of us have lost our babies. It was amazing to be so raw and full if emotion and talk out loud to both of them and to listen as they told me parts of their story.

One if them told me something I had been longing to hear... Something I have been praying and searching for for an answer.  We are coming up on the second month before we can try to get pregnant again.  To be honest I'm terrified. What if it happens again and I loose another baby? What if it takes another two years and ends in the same result. What if  that was it, and I don't get pregnant again. What if next time I'm further along and things go wrong... Just all the questions that run through your mind when you have lost a baby and aren't sure if you should or want to try again.

My friend came to me and told me this. She told me she had been thinking of me and praying for me. She said she had to tell me something and went on to say that when I get pregnant again and she knows it will happen, that it is going to be terrifying. And that that is ok. It's ok to be terrified sometimes from second to second. When it comes to your body and pregnancy, God is the only one in control. A very dear friend of mine told me that when she was pregnant, one of those resulting in a miscarriage. She said she realized that in pregnancy you have no control over what happens. No matter if you eat the right things, stay away from stress, God is the only one in control of life.

All of this was just what I needed to hear today. God just has this way of putting you right where he wants when he wants you there. I was only able to see these ladies because we were campus surfing today.  This just all reminds me that you are where you are supposed to be. God will guide you there.

Even though my talk with these girls was very emotional and very raw and rough today, it was exactly all I needed to hear. God put me there.